Wed, 15 Oct 2003

today's instant vacation...

...deserves some explanation. (It's a little long, but it gives the background.)

A few weeks ago I asked y'all to send me any 1-2-3 sayings that you've heard. I had quoted to a friend a French saying that translates: "One Frenchmen and you've got a smart man. Two Frenchmen and you've got a good conversation. Three Frenchmen and you've got a revolution!" He told me that just recently a friend had quoted to him another saying , in reference to their combined total of three sons doing some lawn work together, "One boy is a half a man. Two boys is half a boy. Three boys is no boy."

One subscriber wrote to say, "My father-in-law, now 88 years old, has used the 123 phrase about the boys as long as I have known him. I watched that principle in action recently when I hired 3 high school boys to dig a ditch! They accomplished more in 1 day when I was working along side them, than in 1 week unattended!"

Another subscriber (a former "campus kid" of ours) passed on what is today's iv. I thought it was really great since several of you have either just had your first child or are awaiting the arrival of your first child. What I'm sending may seem unfathomable to you new parents, but we older, more experienced parents will laugh knowingly. Enjoy!

 =^..^=  =^..^=  =^..^=   
Rob Loach in Greenville SC

People who say they sleep like a baby obviously don't have one.
***

Being a parent changes everything. But being a parent also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child is different from having your first.

* Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

* Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

* The Layette
1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

* Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

* Pacifier
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

* Diapering
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

* Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

* Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

* At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.