|
Wed, 01 Nov 2006 personal update... After having to sit on this news for a few weeks, I'm finally able to let you know that our daughter Megan and son-in-law Jim are awaiting the arrival of a baby in late April 2007. And are my wife and I excited about becoming grandparents?!? Woohoo! Meg will probably have an ultrasound in late November or early December. I can't wait to find out if I'll be a grandfather or a grandmother. I'll keep you posted. One day last week my wife and I had lunch with a former student and her husband who were visiting campus. She was one of my 7th grade students during my first year of teaching in 1973. She's now 46! Later that same day I got an email from a former student who will be turning 50 in December. Yikes! I know that I'm really *not* old yet, but these events remind me of how fast life is flying by. I want to make my time count for what will last forever. *** "It's foolish to envy those who are on a pleasure ship headed for certain disaster." - Dr. Drew Conley =^..^= =^..^= Senility Prayer - "God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do like, and the eyesight to tell the difference. today's instant vacation... Some of you "young things" probably won't get all the humor in today's iv, and some of you "not-so-young things" may find some of it tasteless. But since I've been thinking a lot about how rapidly time passes and about the aging process in general, I pass these things along for your enjoyment and/or consideration. *** "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful we can still drive!" *** You're asleep, but others worry that perhaps you're dead. Your back goes out more than you do. You have quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck. You are proud of your lawn mower. Half the stuff in your shopping cart says, "For fast relief." Your friend is dating someone half his or her age, and isn't breaking any laws. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. You sing along with the elevator music. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. You scare people when you sleep because you make the same noises as your coffee maker. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants. You take a metal detector to the beach. You set off the metal detectors at airport security. You wear black socks with sandals. You know what the word "equity" means. You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television. Your ears are hairier than your head. You got cable for the weather channel. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. *** PERKS OF BEING OVER 50... Kidnappers are not very interested in you. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run - anywhere. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won't wear out. You can eat dinner at 4 pm. Your eyes won't get much worse. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. You can't remember if someone sent you this list or if you forwarded it yourself. *** |
| previous iv | next iv | archive list | ivman home page |