Wed, 9 Jul 2003

today's instant vacation...

If you've been around the barn a few times, you know that some advice you receive is good and some isn't. Today's iv is a list of advice that fits into those two categories.

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Rob Loach in Greenville SC

Advice is usually what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't.
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Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Get in the last word - apologize.

Always imitate the behavior of winners when you lose.

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing .  

Whenever you feel blue, start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.  

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I'll end this iv with a story that contains a bit of advice for married folks:

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

David leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

David's ribs will heal in a few weeks.