Tue, 7 Oct 2003

today's instant vacation...

I'm enjoying Windows98 SE and finally have most everything "tweaked."  Just think, technologically I'm now almost into this millenium....

Since I've been so busy with computer stuff this past week, my mind went towards several computer-related bits of humor I've received recently. The first one is a blonde joke and the second is a parody of Dr. Seuss.

(DISCLAIMER: Just remember - not all blondes are airheads, and not all airheads are blonde!)

Before you read on, I've put a link where you can download the Internet. Please check it out:

http://ivman.com/download.html

 =^..^=  =^..^=  =^..^=   
Rob Loach in Greenville SC

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
***

Speaking of being and not being insulted, here's a quote from the founder of Dollywood:

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I'm also not blonde." -Dolly Parton

***
A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pink curtain the size of my computer screen."

The surprised salesman replies, "But madam, you don't put curtains on computers!"

And the blonde says, "Helloooooooooooooo! I've got Windows!!!"

***
Dr. Seuss and Computers

(This is most enjoyable when read aloud.)

If a packet hits a pocket, on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted, as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted, 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable, on the table, at your house,
Says the network is connected, to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel, on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer, down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted, by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse.
Then you may as well reboot it and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, your system's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the micro code instructions cause unnecessary risk,
When you have to flash your memory and try to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off the computer, and be sure to call your Mom!