today's instant vacation...

Today's iv is a funny piece about fast food restaurant employees. If you've not gone to a fast-food restaurant recently (some of you live where this amenity is unavailable), you probably won't find this quite as humorous as the rest of us. We just went through the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A the other evening for ice cream, which reminded my wife and me of this piece in my files.

I don't know who wrote this, but it sure makes me laugh.

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Rob Loach in Greenville SC

Why is it called "fast food"? It doesn't arrive fast, and those eating it are definitely *not* fasting! Some would say it's not really even food....
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I have finally figured out how fast-food restaurants decide who gets to work which jobs. And it's all so simple: They just *ask* the new employees a few basic questions! It probably goes something like this:

Manager: Hello, and welcome to BurgerWorld. We're sure that you are going to absolutely *love* working here over the next three weeks. And to ensure that we match each of you to the ideal crew-member position in the store, we'd like you each to answer a few simple questions. First you, Steve. Suppose a customer's order is $4.37. The customer hands you $5.12. What do you do?

Steve: Well, the *first* thing I'd do is give him back the extra dime. Then I'd calculate his change, which should be ... uh ... forty seven cents?

Manager: Good job! We'll put you on the cash register. Okay, you're next, Marcy. Things have been a little slow today, and the bin is nearly empty. Suddenly, a school bus pulls up outside, and sixty high school seniors pile out of it. What do you do?

Marcy: Oh, um, I don't know. Fix my hair?

Manager: Oooh, good answer! We'll put you in charge of French fries. ... Okay, and the last question is for you, Semrpthr#ckidsh. Am I pronouncing that correctly?

Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO?

Manager: I said, "Am I pronouncing that correctly?"

Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO?

Manager: Could You Please Tell Me How To Pro-Nounce Your Name?

Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO?

Manager: Hmmm. <thinking> CAN YOU SAY, "WELCOME TO BURGERWORLD"?

Semrpthr#ckidsh: AHHH-LO?

Manager: Here, put on this headset. You're working the drive-thru.

(That has GOT to be the system they use. If there are a dozen crew members working in the store, the one working the drive thru will be the only one who has been in the country for less than thirty minutes.)

There has to be a good explanation. Personally, I think it might very well be that American kids can't seem to push the button and talk at the same time. I've run across only ONE American kid working a drive-thru window recently -- and her transmissions went something like this:

"-m to BurgerWorld."

"-ake your order?"

"-ies with that?"

"and thirty seven cents."

Me: Excuse me? I didn't catch the dollar amount.

"and thirty seven cents."

Me: Could you please try pressing the button BEFORE you start speaking?

"-irty seven cents."

Me: Thank you.

"-ooh the first window."

Me: -anks.

Perhaps the obvious solution is for me to stop frequenting such classy establishments. :-)