today's instant vacation...

At this point in the bleak midwinter, many are dreaming of t-shirt weather. What I'm sending you today is reportedly a bunch of sayings from t-shirts. I've seen some of them used as signature lines in e-mails. I hope they'll bring a laugh or two. Think WARM!

  =^..^=  =^..^=  =^..^=
Rob Loach in Greenville SC

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.
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At My Age, I've Seen It All, Done It All, Heard It All...I Just Can't Remember It All

(around a picture of dandelions)  I Fought the Lawn and the Lawn Won

So Many Men, So Few Who Can Afford Me

I Suffer from Occasional Delusions of Adequacy

My Mother Is A Travel Agent For Guilt Trips

If It's Called Tourist Season, Why Can't We Hunt Them?

Princess, Having Had Sufficient Experience With Princes, Seeks Frog

(on the back of a passing motorcyclist)  If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off

I Used To Be Schizophrenic, But We're OK Now

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I came. I Saw. I Did a Little Shopping

What If The Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About?

I Didn't Climb to the Top of the Food Chain to Be a Vegetarian

Coffee, Chocolate, Men...Some Things Are Just Better Rich

Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law

If You Want Breakfast In Bed, Sleep In the Kitchen

The Old Pro...Often Wrong...Never In Doubt

If At First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't For You

Old Age Comes at a Bad Time

First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order

(seen on an 8 year old)  That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!

Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

Procrastinate Now

Rehab Is for Quitters

My Dog Can Lick Anyone

(on a baby-size shirt)  Party - My Crib - Two A.M.

West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software

STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead

FOR SALE: French rifle. Never fired. Dropped once

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory

HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, A lifetime commitment for a pig

The trouble with life is there's no background music

The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson

MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO OAT BRAN

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years