Mon, 06 Nov 2006
ivman update...
I'm sending this iv early to celebrate another ivman milestone. This past weekend the membership of the ivman list passed the 1,600 mark! I'm glad the emails are filling a niche. Thanks to those who reply to say hi or "amen" or whatever. Some say they hate to reply since the group is so big, but I enjoy hearing that an iv has hit a funny bone. And it's always great to hear from people I know and to hear from people I've never met, but who enjoy the weekly iv's. All that to say, don't ever hesitate to write! 8-) Those reading this online can write from the email link at the bottom of this or any page.
***
personal update...
Life is going along at its usual clip here for us, and everyone is doing well. It's just hard to believe how close Thanksgiving is! Then Christmas will be right around that corner. Where does the time go?!? Hope you are all well.
***
quotation...
"Our response to needy people is an index of our understanding of God's attitude towards them." - Dr. Drew Conley
=^..^= =^..^=
Rob Loach in Greenville SC
COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage
***
today's instant vacation...
With election day here in the USA on Tuesday of this week, the thoughts of many are on our nation's law makers and law enforcers. I, for one, am glad that we're a nation of laws, and it's unsettling to see movements afoot to change that. Anyway, all this brought to mind some stuff in my files - various "universal laws" that people other than law makers have put into words. Some are hilarious, and others give cause to wonder. (DISCLAIMER: I don't know who named any of them or how accurate those names are.)
Most people have heard of "Murphy's Law." I'll begin with that, with some historical background.
***
Murphy's Law - A Little Bit Of History...
Born in 1917, Edward A. Murphy, Jr. was one of the engineers on the rocket-sled experiments that were done by the United States Air Force in 1949 to test human acceleration tolerances (USAF project MX981).
One experiment involved a set of 16 accelerometers mounted to different parts of the subject's body. There were two ways each sensor could be glued to its mount, and somebody methodically installed all 16 the wrong way around.
Murphy then made the original form of his pronouncement, which the test subject, Major John Paul Stapp, quoted at a news conference a few days later.
Within months, "Murphy's Law" had spread to various technical cultures connected to aerospace engineering, and finally reached the Webster's dictionary in 1958.
Since then, the relentless truth inherent in Murphy's Law has become a persistent thorn in the side of humanity.
Murphy's Original Law:
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.
Murphy's Law or Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives:
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law
Murphy was an optimist.
***
These are some laws of life in this world as stated by others than Murphy, though some sound vaguely reminiscent of Murphy's Law...
The Ultimate Law:
All general statements are false. (Ivman wonders if that one is too....)
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone is always at home.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always start to move faster than the one you are in now.
The Sausage Principle:
People who love sausage and have great respect for the law should *never* watch either one being made.
Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will (like when you take your car to the mechanic).
Law of Seating:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the rug/carpet.
The Law of the Perversity of Nature:
You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
Henry Luce's Law:
No good deed goes unpunished
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are. (Could this be called "The Law of Personal Ubiquity"?)
The Whispered Rule:
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
Lynch's Law:
When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
Boren's First Law:
When in doubt, mumble.
Carlson's Consolation:
Nothing is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.
The First Law of Wing Walking:
Never let go of what you've got until you've got hold of something else.
Cohn's Law:
The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.
Ducharme's Precept:
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
Witten's Law:
Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.
Jenkinson's Law:
It won't work.
Perkin's Postulate:
The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
Harrison's Postulate:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Horngren's Observation (generalized):
The real world is a special case.
Allen's Law:
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Merkin's Maxim:
When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
Johnson-Laird's Law:
Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night.
Lewis' Law:
People will buy anything that's only one-to-a-customer.
Law of Reruns:
If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Bicycle Law:
All bicycles weigh 50 pounds:
A 30 pound bicycle needs a 20 pound lock.
A 40 pound bicycle needs a 10 pound lock.
A 50 pound bicycle doesn't need a lock.
Comin's Law:
People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
Paulg's law:
In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.
Klipstein's Observation:
If you need x items of anything, they will have (x - 1) in stock.
Rosenfield's Regret:
The most delicate component will be dropped.
Law of Probability Dispersal:
Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
Shirley's Law:
Most people deserve each other.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Berra's Law:
You can observe a lot just by watching.